With baby number one I learned to ask for help when I needed it. That asking wasn’t a sign of weakness but rather of strength. Now on baby number two, I took a step back to evaluate everything that was in front of me and wonder how in the “H” “E” “double hockey sticks” was I going to accomplish everything.
I knew there were people around who were willing to help, the challenge came to figuring out how I needed the help. It’s similar to the feeling of being SO hungry but not having a clue what to eat, because nothing sounds good. I knew there were all these things looming over me — other people counting on the details — and there wasn’t enough time to accomplish it all. I thought The Challenge was going to put everything into perspective and I would figure out how to do EVERYTHING at once.
The results surprised me. I found something completely different than I expected. It wasn’t a solution to the problem but rather a mind set in accomplishing it all. Because accomplishing everything– isn’t possible (Read about The Mess here). At least not in the environment that I operate in, the number of hours in a day, the days in a week, and sadly there isn’t a button to create an extra day or a few more hours to accomplish all that needed to be done. So what did I do? I froze. I landed in Child’s Pose (no joke on the floor of my daughter’s bedroom) and asked myself what did I really want?
I want to be able to stay at home with my kids. I want to be able to be a present wife for my husband, to clean my house so it’s neat when he (or anyone else for that matter) walks in the door. I want to be able to own a business, I want that business to be yoga. I want to share my passion with others. To share the joy, the saving powers, the serenity this practice has brought to me day in and day out.
The owner of a business wears many hats, especially when you add in the mom/wife/friend/daughter/aunt/sister side of things too . I want to accomplish it all — but I can’t. Not alone. Not by myself. It was coming to this conclusion — which looked a bit like despair that day — that made me open my eyes and ears and listen to those who were offering their help. Thankfully when I did, there was Candace, ready and willing to bring Yoga Innovations to the next stage.
When you have a baby, people love to try to help. Friends bring food. Relatives offer to hold the baby when you need a break. I’ve even heard of people cleaning your house for you (don’t we all need those kinds of friends). A few months pass and the newness wears off. You’re expected to go back to your old life, job and responsibilities as if nothing has changed. Those first few weeks and months after a baby is born are the easiest. If you’re lucky, you have a nice long maternity leave to fawn over your perfect creation. The majority of newborns sleep most of the time; so it’s not too hard to find time to get a shower, maybe even clean your house. Just as you begin to put your body, house and stride back together you have to go back to reality. It is around this time that babies begin to sleep less during the day. They start to squirm and try to get around. They need a lot more attention than newborns. But at the same time you’re trying to go to work, reclaim your (war torn) body, lose the baby weight, rekindle things with your spouse, basically hold the world together all of your help goes back to their lives too. Nobody comes around three months after your baby is born and offers to cook you dinner. Nobody can sit you down and offer to take on some of your work load. It’s easy to see your to-do list multiply and take on a life of its own. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, right when the world is expecting you to get back to normal.
I’m going to be completely honest, I am not the friend that brings over food or offers to clean your house. My house is messy enough; I don’t have time for someone else’s mess! After Claire had her second daughter I wanted to help. But I didn’t want to help with the domestic stuff, I wanted to help Claire with her work. I wanted to manage Yoga Innovations. So, I nagged her. “How can I help?” “You need a manager.” “Who do you think would be a good manager?” (*wink, wink*) “Let me do this one thing.” “Let me do these ten things.” “Let me help.” And finally she caved. I had my selfish reasons. I wanted the job. I could use the money. But more than that, I love Claire and Yoga Innovations. I felt ready in my life to take on more responsibilities. I was actually eager to do more work.
Now that I am officially managing Yoga Innovations, I feel like taking on these new responsibilities has been a bit like learning a new yoga pose, like bird of paradise. At first it looks impossible, “how could anyone do that?” “How does your leg get up there?” But then you start to take on a bit more; binding in your side angle pose; opening your hips. And eventually you just have to fling your leg up there and see how it fits. Right now I am in the flinging stage. I think it might fit perfectly or I might fall down. It’s going to be a mess for a while. But luckily, I’m not doing this alone. I have Claire by my side. I won’t be making dinner for her anytime soon, and I don’t expect her to clean my house. We can always hire a maid and get take-out. After all, it takes a village, to raise a family and run a studio.